” I’m neither sad nor happy. I’m at this position where I really can’t figure out what is actually going on in my mind. My flight to Bahrain is next Monday. Super excited? Definitely. Nervous about uncertainty? Hell yeah. It’s like I’m scared to get excited about my trip because of the uncertain (pandemic) situation where my ticket might be cancelled. So I decided to play it cool. But it’s kinda hard not to get excited when you’re flying back home in almost a week. Well, we will have to wait and see. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. Just chill. Ugh, I’m so confused.
And also, another thing I wanted to get off my chest is that I’m low-key worried about is that I might lose myself if I fly back. I fear that I might go back to my past and boom, history repeats again. It has taken a lot of effort to be in a mental place where I am right now. So I really don’t wanna lose all that what took me months to build. “