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Journal-14 Overwhelmed? IDK.

Date: 09.04.2021

Day: Friday

“Y’all! My exams are finally done. Also, I did finish the series Friends today. Ngl, I am pretty bummed about it. I never thought that I’d miss that show, but I do. Anyway, I wanted to give you a quick update on my current mental status. Am I okay? Definitely. But something keeps bothering me within. I slept till 6pm today, after I got home from college. Why you may ask? For starters, yes, I was tired after my exams. But why I mainly wanted to stay in bed is cause I knew that if I wake up, I’m gonna be all depressed and sad. So I rather spend the evening in bed and sleep instead of waking up and going all poignant again. God, I feel so pathetic. Okay, I am gonna be real honest with you now. Let me elaborate on today’s events that led me to this mental state. Firstly, my friend asked me to get an Instagram account. The thing is I already got one, but it’s a private and personal one. And by private, I mean not a soul knows about it, except me. (Cause I don’t like a social life, if that wasn’t clear). She sounded pretty dejected when I told her that I wouldn’t follow her or anyone for that matter. And now, it makes me feel like a bad friend. Ugh. I was just prioritizing my mental health. Y’all know how social media makes me feel. Let’s not go into that now. And secondly, we were told that we couldn’t do an internship at a court. After weeks of effort to get into one, I feel like all the efforts gone waste. Plus how TF am I gonna break this news to the person who gave me an exclusive opportunity to work in an actual court? I just can’t. He’s been too nice to me to offer me one during the summer vacation time and now I have to tell him that I can’t do it? HOOOOW am I gonna do that? My anxiety level is just levitating. Low-key shout out to Dua Lipa. Lol, I had to get that one. Levitating. Whatever. But deep down, I know this is for the best. Know why? Because I trust the universe and moreover, I’ve been seeing a lot of 111s everywhere. So I definitely know that’s a good sign.

Also, it’s been a year since I’ve started writing my dream journal. Though I am guilty of not updating it on a daily basis as I used to be, I still can’t believe that I stuck with the idea of writing a journal. One of few accomplishments I have achieved. So, yay to me for that.”

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