“One moment I’m over and beyond the moon. Next thing you know… I am deeply depressed, and that is my current situation now. I feel unstable again. It’s the unbalance of life again, baby. Ugh. Everything and everyone rn in my life pisses me off. God, I’m way beyond annoyed for no apparent reason. I guess I’m PMSing now. But that doesn’t provide any relief. Nothing seems to give me comfort now. Everything seemed perfect until last night. I slept with a smiling face the previous night and I am not exaggerating. One of my poetries was read on live IG stories. A curator of a poetry page liked and commented on my poem. Their mere acknowledgment gave me immense pleasure and happiness. All of those feelings stumbled down the drain this morning. I have no idea what exactly caused it. Even Netflix and YouTube fail to provide me the usual bounty of endorphins. Sigh. I don’t know. Well, I do know for a fact that this is temporary, cause I’ve experienced this shit before. So hell yeah, I am used to this bitchy feeling. I have grown out of it. Change of topic now. I started an online YouTube crash course on philosophy and boy, have I been more proud and enthusiastic about any subject. Philosophy is …. gotta make a quick head out, cause my mom’s calling me for lunch. Brb, y’all.
And I’m back and guess what day it is. It’s 11-05-2021 Tuesday lol. So I was wondering if I should start this as a new entry or just continue where I stopped. And yes, I decided to pick right from where I had left. Philosophy. Ngl, I never thought I’d be so intrigued by a subject. I feel this is the stuff they should teach in school. Honestly, I’ve been philosophical since forever. I just wasn’t aware of it. It’s always been my second nature. I know this sounds way too nerdy of me. Right, guess that’ll be enough for now. Ooh, life update check. Ever since I installed Miraquill (an app for writers to post whatever you write, duh), I haven’t been much on social media. This app has helped me to improve my mental health a lot. I’ve never been more productively occupied in my life. It feels right. It feels positive, you know. Like, I’ve always felt this intense sense of ecstasy whenever I sit down and let my thoughts flow through my fingers. It’s just another level of happiness. Nothing else can make me more blissful and satisfied than writing down stuffs (this journal, for instance, lol). I guess I have updated on everything. Huh, I can’t believe there’s just a week more to fly back to Bahrain. It feels so surreal. But yeah, I do feel pretty excited about it. Fingers crossed that everything goes well. I know for a fact that whatever happens, it is for our best. I trust the Universe and I have full faith in it. BFN”