Journal-75 No more jinxing.

Date: 24.02.2022

Day: Thursday

“Feels like forever since I’ve come here. I feel like a stranger here, wandering about their snippets and analysing them for a third person’s eye. Oh this last week had been one hell of a ride. Internal exams, yeah and that too on a week’s notice. So I was pretty much buried into books. And tbh they went great actually. I’m finally done with my exams today and here am I, pecking the keys and sipping black coffee like something I’ve been doing all these days. Anyway, this week was fun. Honestly this was the first time where I actually enjoyed every bit of my exam week. My mind was off from drama and shit. I was focussing completely on my studies. But did I have my share of distractions? Yes I did. It wasn’t a 24/7 study routine, though we had a lot to study in less amount of time. It felt really great, to be a part of a hustle and productive. Setting minimalist goals and accomplishing them was kinda therapeutic ngl. I feel one huge step ahead in life than where I was before my exams had begun. Well, I haven’t been reciting my morning affirmations. And my planner hasn’t been updated and is quite dead. Poetry: nothing new. Yeah I did not have time for myself or to introspect. I felt broad minded this entire week. I actually liked the hustle. And guess what? I was running on 2 hours sleep, and did I look dead and puffy af? Not at all. I felt and looked rejuvenated. Staying up until 11:45pm and setting my alarm for 2:30am, phew that was fun! And also, I managed to work out twice a day despite me having loads to cram up on the night before the exam. I learned to prioritize my health alongside my grades. That’s been going good! Older me would have immersed into books, 24/7 with no sort of physical exercise. That’s messed up. And about my binge eating, well I did have an episode of it a night back. I snuck in fried jackfruit chips to my bedroom, and started munching em despite having a terrible tummy ache. The next day, I bawled my eyes out to my mom, telling her to save me from this mental struggle of overeating. And she suggested to slowly chewing the food, taking time to swallow. And yes, that pretty much did the trick. Cause, well idk if I’m too early to talk about this, I did kinda harness this overeating mindset now. This whole “eating slowly” thing hurts my jaw and now I eat very less than I’m supposed to. So idk how long I can have this under control. Hopefully forever…or at least a long time till I shed off those excess pounds. Looks like my life has…wait I am not gonna jinx it.”

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