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Journal- 106 Jump off the tower! Your Prince ain’t gonna come.

Date: 12.11.2022

Day: Saturday

“What am I doing here again? Yeah well, I’ve been thinking (as usual) about the whole Mr. AJ aka ‘the guy who ghosted me’ situation last year. Remember how he murderously ghosted me and I was heart fucking broken and I caved into binge eating for comfort and that worsened and you know the rest? Let me now tell you the real issue there. See, I had this wonderful fantasy created in my head that when we really started flirting and dating, I assumed that this cute guy was who he appeared to be. I thought that sweet talk and sugar coated words carried some meaning. But turns out, surprise surprise, I was a pastime for him. He never was interested in me as a girlfriend or anything of that sort. He just needed someone to banter with just so he could get through his boring days at work. Though I kind of figured out that those days, I didn’t want to believe it. Cause believing in the truth hurts, and I wasn’t prepared to accept the harsh reality. So I just created assumptions whenever he ghosted me like, “Oh he must’ve had a busy day at work that he didn’t get time to check his phone.” Although I found him online several times a day, and even found him post an IG story. He just wasn’t interested. Period. I should’ve just accepted that and moved on. Like if he wasn’t into me, why should I waste my time over him? Like it’s not like he’s obligated to stay interested in me. I get that, cause I’ve been through the same with other guys. Instead I kept hoping and waiting each moment for his text, like a naïve princess at the top of the tower waiting for her prince charming. The stupid princess should’ve just jumped off the tower and moved on with her life. God, I was so dumb to create a mould in my head and fantasized that he’d fit into it. Instead of seeing who he really was on the face value, I gave him more importance because he was perfect in my imagination. I thought things would turn out as it had in my head. Well, guess I had to learn this the hard way: take people as they are. If they’re bad, they’re bad. If they don’t seem interested, they’re really not interested. Period. Stop making assumptions about the “what ifs” and shit. I wish I could tell this to my younger self.”

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