Date: 27.11.2022
Day: Sunday
“7am, Sunday morning, what tf am I doing here? I feel unusually cranky this morning. But last night was really good, mom and I had gone out to get some burgers. Yeah I know that sounds so NOT us, but it happened. We got back pretty late, and I gotta admit, I could really get used to this late night driving. So why cranky? Cause I feel fat. I know a burger and some fries and a Raspberry mojito (I’d give it a 7.5) is not gonna make me gain some extra pounds overnight. But come on, you know how it is. I couldn’t even get some sleep cause I was busy taking a guilt trip last night. I should be grateful for atleast letting myself try out junk once in a while, cause dude, complete restriction is gonna do more harm than good. Know what, I’m heading out cause this is making me focus more on the negatives. Fuck this shit man, I am on recovery. I am healing my relationship with food. I know when to stop eating now. I no longer indulge in binge eating. But even if I do relapse, I am still fucking grateful cause I came a long way from my ED. My progress doesn’t have to be visible to everyone. I know my graph of recovery is taking a subtle peak, and that is enough. Cause recovery here doesn’t mean manifesting physical changes (it could lead to it, but not soon). It’s more about managing emotions around food and achieving body positivity. It’s about wiping the lens of how you perceive your life off pessimism. Period. I don’t need to whine about a fucking burger I had. Cause I had a great time and that is all that matters. I don’t need to get grumpy and ruin the rest of my life with it.”
2 shots of me 