Journal-20 Venting, as usual

Date: 15.05.2021

Day: Saturday

“You know when you have one of those days when you’re feeling all happy and suddenly, idk wtf happens you aren’t feeling your best anymore. Today is that day.. Yeah I’m aware that this is how most of my entries start. Well, this is me. That ain’t gonna change anytime soon. So, I heard Miss Chamberlain(on her podcast) say that journaling really helps to get over this depressing state. She also mentioned that we shouldn’t lie to ourselves while journaling. So I’ll try to keep this one filled with maximum details as possible. Lately, I feel like that I’ve been listening to this “cool in a weird way” kind of music that gives off a load of negative vibes. All these songs, though they sound kinda dope; it’s just too much negativity. So that’s one reason. Secondly, it’s just three days till I fly back to Bahrain. It’s the usual feeling of instability again. Ugh. I mean, you know how it feels right. I’ve talked about it more than I should on this diary. But hey, it’s my diary. So I get to write whatever I want on this. Wait what? Why am I arguing with myself? Argh. Honestly, I really don’t know how to express what I feel rn. Whatever the feeling might be, it certainly doesn’t feel good. It sucks man. It totally does. Also, I wish I could talk and vent to someone in real life. But y’all know I won’t, lol. Cause you know, paranoiaaa checckk. Sigh. This is my only comfort place, which I am really grateful for. Oh, I forgot to mention. While my mind was filled with all this negative shit, I wanted to watch to something positive like a TedX talk or something better. But nah, me scrolling through YouTube in a search of a mood-booster video was a wild goose chase. So the only option, to get some positivity or at least to get rid of the negative energy that I had in mind was journaling. And yes, here I am. Venting, as usual. So I guess that’s it for now. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve written here. And one more thing before I head out. Exactly 15 more days for you-know-what. Sounds like I’m talking about Voldemort. No, it’s my birthday, bitch. I am turning 20. Like wow. Finally, getting out of teenage. Like, FINALLY. Phew! Ngl, that actually elevated my happiness level a tad. Alrighty then. Good night, y’all!”