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Journal-35 Ghosted me…again

Date: 01.09.2021

Day: Wednesday

“Omg y’all!!! It’s been a long while since I’ve been here. Honestly, last week has been a total rollercoaster. I’ve got soo much to tell you guys. I wanna fill you up on everything. Okay, lemme cool down and alleviate my excitement of being here after weeks of being tied up with life. Hey, also, first day of new month. Uhm yes, there was Onam (a harvest festival in Southern part of India). This was the time when I was getting annoyed with my everyday-texting buddy. While devising of ways to smoothly get rid of him, there was a “spur of the moment” thought. A day or two after Onam, I had this feeling in me. A gut feeling (if you will) to look for an old friend, on IG. Haven’t connected with this dude in like 2 years. Long story short- added Mr. AJ (anonymity maintained cause duh-), texted, got close, came soo close to actually dating- all this within 4-5 days. And during these days, I realized that the guy I texted everyday didn’t matter to me as much he used to. Like, all these months I was extremely obsessed with talking to him, but on the other hand, I really wanted to keep a distance with him. Cause, you know, I mean he was really a good friend but, the energy he gave off was not resonating with mine. So, I had to distance myself from him, for my benefit. So while I was struggling to gently flick him off of my life, I met this AJ dude again on IG. And yeah, as expected, we got along well. Well, now I had someone new to obsess over. Guess this is what life is… replacing old obsessions with new ones (not my line, it’s from IG). Now I started ghosting the former dude, just so I can obsess over this new fangled interest of mine. All this while he was that one person who always put up with my shit, the person who’s always for me, I just ghosted him. Wow, I’m such a heartless mean bitch, aren’t I? How…how could I possibly do this to someone? But then hey, I’ve had issues with his energy so yeah, I had a valid reason to get rid of him. Okay, now I’m close to this new guy AJ (like actually close) and guess what happened? We low-key got into an argument, and now like right now, the dude’s putting me on read. Like what the actual f-k? How dare he do that? I know, being put on read ain’t no big deal. But we’ve got so close in a short span of time, and he’s one of those people who responds to texts in less than a minute. And now, I’m a no one to him? Ugh, I’m equally mad as I am disappointed. Like why tf do I even meet people if they are just gonna ghost me in less than a week? Damn the dude’s a coward. Ughhhh!!! I am so done with all this shit. And I just realized that this is exactly what I did to my former buddy. Ghosted him one fine day. And this is what is happening to me. Karma’s on the roll. I feel the Universe’s sign is pretty evident here. As I said earlier, it’s the beginning of a new month. The Universe wants to remove all toxicity from my life, cause I am a being who vibrates with higher frequency. And anyone or anything with lower than my frequency is washed off from my life. Well, I guess this is inclining more towards a blessing than a curse. Yes I know this is in fact a huge blessing from the Universe, cause I’ve been seeing 111s and 911s for the past two days I guess. I should be grateful to the Universe for removing all hindrances from my life, just so I can focus on my priorities. I couldn’t even come update my journal here because of all this shit. Damn. But hey, I am allowed to be honest here. Honestly, I am feeling extremely bummed out because of all this. Like why do I keep facing this? I came across some IG posts in the last one hour, and they were all about new beginnings and letting go and stuff. Can the Universe get any louder? I think not. Know what? I know I am gonna move on with this shit tomorrow, cause after all he’s just some random dude on IG. Like I don’t even know him personally. He’s just a guy from my past. So more reasons as to why I shouldn’t give a f-k about him. But as of now, I am upset and am listening to Taylor’s 1989 songs to elevate my mood. But I gotta acknowledge my feelings, so imma just head to bed, and probably cry a bit maybe. Just let me be me for the night. I’m glad at least I was able to come up here and talk with y’all. I felt like I ghosted my journal, and that’s the worse. I know I’m not proud of myself, and also I am not gonna make myself look guilty for absolutely no reason.

All this is a part of the Universe’s plan and it has happened for the best. I just have to trust the process. The Universe knows better, more reasons why I should trust. Well, anyway, goodnight for now, y’all. I missed you guys here, and I promise never to make y’all anything less than my top priority. Also, I’m done with him. Okay, yeah bye for now. Love y’all so much for keeping up with my rant sessions.”

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