“Tomorrow’s the day of celebrations and fun at college which I will not be attending. Am I getting FOMO about it? Well, not as much as I thought I would. Cause tomorrow I’ll be travelling on a train to visit my family, and honestly I’m more excited for the train travel than the celebrations. Sure, I’ll miss dressing myself up to look my absolute gorgeous and taking snaps with everyone. And yeah, the dance and music and wait…the food!!! That’s like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But then I switch my mind to the positives. I wouldn’t be comfortable in long glittery traditional attires. And not to mention, it’d be extremely awkward to see my ex with his gf/my best friend having a great time, cause the last time it was me and him on the college day. That’s definitely gonna bring back some awful memories. Speaking of which, I’m kinda surrounded by my ex all the time. I low-key feel like Taylor Swift. Gen-Z Ms. Swift here. No wonder I keep writing heartbreak poems like her. Damn. Well, back to what we were talking about. Sorry, I lost track of thoughts here.
Tomorrow we’re off! And the usual feeling of instability and subtle depression hits again. It’s weird. Like is this normal to consistently feel this way every time I go on a vacation? Lol cause in my knowledge, people are usually excited and hyped to go on a trip. Me, I just overanalyse how my situation is gonna be there. At the same time, I crave a change. A change in surroundings. Sigh. Well, it’s just 7:45pm rn and I’m tired af. I need a break!!! Like I wanna wake up late for once, but these stupid exams won’t let catch a breath. And tomorrow I gotta shower at 4:30am cause I got a fucking train to catch. Me hungry as well. Also, a guy from the junior batch said he notices me around college cause of my brown hair. Like people actually notice me huh. Me flattered. Cause I still feel like that invisible noob from school who was never in the attention of others. Not even the people from my class were aware of my existence. And now, literally the whole college, juniors and seniors and dudes from other classes fucking notice me. Not just them, even those guys from school slide into my dms saying how much of a glow up I’ve had. Like damn y’all. Is this really my life? Cause it’s def way better than I had dreamt of as a kid. Gotta be grateful for that, and yes I gotta pack for tomorrow. I’m heading out and thanks for listening to mindless rambling session that makes absolutely no sense lol.”